The Trips My Mind Takes

Disgust that's all I feel when I look at you Why do you look like that  How could you let yourself get like that  Why do you wanna look like this  Do you think you're attractive  Do you think you're sexy Do you really think that you're that cute And do you really think someone would love you  You can't connect with people  You don't have emotions  You're a shitty friend  What makes you think you'll be a great girlfriend or wife  Shit don't get me started on your parenting  Your child will be taken from you  Her father is a better fit than you are  You can barely take care of yourself how do you think you can take care of your child  Just give up  There's no point of you sticking around  You're a shifty mom, shitty person, fat and ugly  What's the point My insecurities are my weakness  My insecurities are my flaw  You have to love yourself before you ...

It's happening again  The return of a old friend  Stalking me all day and night Only feeling safe when my eyes are shut tight  Looking in the mirror I see the fear  The fear of not being good enough not being able to make Sitting in this dark place I try to pull myself out But I can't ever grip the rope that's hanging about I cry, I scream, I sit quietly thinking  How could things be different how could things be better  How could I get through horrific stormy weather  How can I make it when I'm destined to fail  How can I be strong when the weight is to much  The mirror  Again the answer might be in the mirror  I can't stop looking at the mirror  The sadness in her eyes The smile on her face The pain in her heart The thoughts in her brain  The mirror she saw looks like the answer  The glass she held felt like the end  I told her she can do it I told her she was stro...

I am at a loss I don't know what to do I've always tried my best but its clearly not enough for you I don't know what more you want from me there's not much I can present to you I thought I was doing great in life I guess that's not really true if there is something that you need need for me to do just explaining in words that are not critical to my view sight, pathway, a picture of how I wanted my life but I guess to you that path is not right  what more can offer than my best do you need me to venture to the far corners of the planet think about a randoms feathered creature settle do need me to go to a school party at that point return home to fizzle a test do you need me to discover a 9-5 at that point get back home drinking red wine would you like me to figure out how to overlap a towel so I can be sorted out throughout everyday life do you need me to discover a sweetheart so some time or another I can conceivably be somebody's b...

Glass, that's what I am a beautiful but flawed design piece of glass. I have cracks all over and pieces missing yet I haven't shattered. Im held together by strong super glue but how long will that really last. every person that comes into my life take a piece of me and never returns it. how can I be beautiful and stand tall if I'm not complete? how can I present myself to someone who loves everything about me when I damn near sand. Glass, that's how fragile I am, if I am held by the right people I won't have cracks I won't be flawed

Broken mirrors  You crash to ground but don't make a sound Your body is in pain but the smile don't change Tears streaming down your face but no one is phased  You see your reflection, a screen cracks You see your reflection, a cup smashed You see your reflection, a mirror has a heart attack  What is happening to you  Letting this pain consume you Can't see what's behind the words  All you known is that it really hurts Trying so hard to be you  But no one wants to see you Swallowing pills skipping meals  Eating ice or excersisng twice a day  Just to make the pain go away Broke mirror All because your not thin   Step on scale to see nothing has changed  Resulting back to all that pain  Broken mirrors  You can't help it but you create broken mirrors  Take all your pain out on mirrors  Can't stand to look in the mirrors Because you wonder what went wrong in the mirr...

I forgive you because you know not what you do  I forgive you because you still don't realize what you put me through I forgive for taking advantage of my kindness I forgive you because again you didn't realize it  I forgive you for putting a hand around my throat I forgive you because you thought that's what I want  I forgive you for entering my space allowing your broken glow stick to enter my cave but I guess you can say I allowed it to stay because you wanted it that way you took my objections as yeses until I didn't say a thing  you used your manipulation so you can pleasure your pain you entered inside me whenever you needed even if I didn't feel good or just pleaded I guess I cannot blame you because I did lay in the bed  but all i wanted was to cuddle not be forced to give you head or be forced on top so you could get a quick nut in I placed my head on a pillow to sleep instead I got the constant repeat of  real f...