The Trips My Mind Takes

  I’ve been suffering   Losing my mind  Trying to hide  The pain the tears  The anger the fears What is happening   Has it really been a year  A year that death has taken over The lost of souls that haven’t returned  Irritation bleeding into my soul Love being consumed by insecurities  I think I just need a release from the thoughts in my head  To accept the pain invading my life  Am I still hurt by what uve done Did I mentally check out  Did the butterflies stop No they haven’t  But I know one thing is true  I’m trapped in a depression  I’m trying to claw through 

  Damn it damn it   All I wanna scream is damn it  The only words that form in my mind that truly wanna come out  Damn it All we’re doing is fight over dumb shit  Damn it  I don’t understand  Why is there a problem  Is there something else deep inside How do we fix what we try to hide Pain boils inside  Dominance make her way to my face  Agression,survival and defense smacks my mind  Coming to realize the mark of my beast Has been pressed on your face Regret building in the air as your pride  Discovers my face  Stinging as if I stood unprotected under the sun  Abuse, some will say Toxicity could be displayed  Damn it  Why couldn’t love me simple  Damn it  Why can’t we hear each other  Damn it  No matter what I say  It’ll look like I’m defending your actions Your the man you should of control your reaction As I, his women Coming clean is what I’ll do  To show it’s not just you...

 Your light started to sparkle splendidly  When you came into my life  I didn't see how you came to fruition  In any case, I realized that you, my dear was something I never needed to live without  Your skin delicate to contact  Your hair silk and sweet  Your eyes totally coordinating mine  And All I can see is me  Despite the fact that your skin conceal resembles day off  Your hair can't hold a twist  You are the delight to my reality  Your chuckle  Your grin  You're similar to the sun setting over the sea  The stars sparkling splendidly around evening time  A full moon gleaming splendidly in the night sky  The sea traveling through the earth  You're a knoll loaded up with delightful sunflowers  Since that is the means by which superb you are  The pattering of your feet  The applaud of your sticky hands  The tacky food sitting on your cheeks  It causes me to feel like my l...

  Learning how to love you was the easiest thing I could do Letting you love me was the hardest thing I could do Breaking down walls I took years to built  Changing my ways to show more affection  Don’t know what I’m doing but trying to be the one for you Tears shed  Questions run through my head Will I ever be good enough Will I ever be enough  Will I ever be the one you really want  You say you love me but I don’t feel it anymore  You said you want me but I don’t hear that anymore  You’re tired of our love I think You’re tired of me maybe  I wanna fight because I feel that it’s right  I wanna cry  I wanna scream  I wanna hold you and you hold me I miss you and idk where you’ve gone  My heart taken by you  My soul blended with yours Forever in my mind  Confusion clouding my head  It’s me it has to be  My love is not enough I am not enough  My fight isn’t enough  Not enough for you  Learn...

Quiet down  I can't hear myself think  For what reason would I hear you out  Youre simply in my mind  Nothing you say is valid  I'm not powerless  I'm not apprehensive  No I am not the motivation behind why individuals leave me  For what reason are you saying this  Obviously he adores me  I'm quite enough  I'm sufficiently keen  Damn you I'm sufficient  You know nothing about us  I do believe I'm acceptable mother  I love my sister  She's the light to my dimness  No I love my girl  She's the finish to my sadness  I love my sweetheart  He's the security to my difficulties  I don't wanna vanish  I need you to hear the things you're saying  See the disdain you're showing  Separating me within  So my external layer with begin to rot  For what reason are you playing with  Wouldn't i be able to be content  Wouldn't i be able to have a second  Wouldn'...

  I’m dangerously in love with you So dangerous there’s a caution sign displayed The feelings i have have side effects  before your proceed this girl will give you her all This girl will fight till she can’t Shes caring, nice and faithful  Side effects: hides how she feels because she scared  She’s aggressive  She’s insecure  She loves hard  He loves you just can’t fully trust you  Don’t know why but he do Mind play tricks to make him question everything y’all are  Everything y’all have  Maybe it’s time for a break Let him explore his options again  Maybe he’ll be happier that way  Pain strikes the heart as our tempers rise How could I  How could I continue on when I hurt you so bad  How could I let you love me when I’m just trash How could I let us get so far apart  When we are inches away   Insecure about my love  Not much a surprise  It seems like I devise and sabotage anything  Anythi...

Lately we’ve been at odds and I know what the    cause is, I guess you’re starting to feel like my love for has paused but I can guarantee we are still on play I think about you everyday  I love you because of your smile I love you because of your heart I love you because of style I love that you’re smart I love the fact that you’re strong and feel like you have to endure it all alone   I love that you’re a family person   I love that you work hard But most of all I’m in love with all the above and how In love you are I know you hate certain things I say  it makes you question yourself  in every way  but please understand you are perfect in my eyes, Ill crack jokes to make you smile  Baby I hate to see you cry I’ll hold you so long  So you don’t feel alone at night  Because you’re a man you feel like you have to disguise your emotions  But feeling all of you is a token You are now and forever apart of my world   I’m not le...

Drowning in emotions  Don’t understand what’s happening   Pit feeling in my stomach Fear tip toeing into my mind   Wonder filling my head   Hoping and pray that everything works out   Working and fighting to make sure everything works out What if’s taking over my thoughts   Symptoms of something that’s not there appearing   Missing my half   Losing my half   Pushing my half away   Lost in the inbetween 

I keep replaying things in my brain  Thinking Everything that had happened is insane To be honest I still don’t understand  How someone like you can hold my hand  Or hold my body tight in your arms Or allow your lips to cover mine Thinking about all the times and shit I’ve been through  And I’ve never loved anyone like I love you  You let me be me without any judgement in your eyes You see me including every flaw I try to hide  You except my daughter as if she came from you And that I thank you  I can’t really explain the love I have for you    because words aren’t enough  It’s like you hold my heart and i don’t want you to give it up I connect with you in so many ways  Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually  What more should I say  I pray this feeling never goes away  Writing this almost brings tears to my eyes You are my bestfriend and my baby  Honestly...

Pain in her eyes Hurt in her heart Hopelessness filling her thoughts Wondering why she didn’t have what she saw with others She wanted to give up She wanted to quit Love wasn’t worth it she thought  Love wasnt for her she thought Insecurities filled her head Looking in the mirror she didn’t see what others saw Usually she’s confident  But lately she’s feels like she lacking  Maybe that’s why she hasn’t found that someone  The someone who wants what she wants  Maybe she’s self sabotaging because she scared to get close to someone again  Maybe she using any excuse not to really put herself out there bc it’s easier that way  You are a strong beautiful women  Yoh brought life into this world that shines brighter than the sun  Your heart is filled with so much love but pain throws a cape over it  You use anything not to feel to go numb   Because it’s better to be numb than truly accepts t...