F word

Fear

A four letter word that seems so small but holds so much weight 

Fear 

A word that only has one syllable but can easily strip everything from you

Fear

That’s what strikes my heart, my mind, my soul

This word stops me from letting go

From escaping into a new world 

Experiencing new beginnings, love and happiness 

From allowing you to discover all of me 

Fear is my F word 

I tried to run from it 

Hide under my blanket

Burn it in the shower

Devour it with my meals 

But it keeps coming up 

 It takes the smallest doubt in my mind and turns it into a worry

It takes the happiness I have and throws it into a sense of depression 

It stops me from trusting 

Constantly questioning what if

What if this isn’t what you want

What if I’m keeping you from happiness 

What if you are feeling sorry for me

What if your playing me 

What if everything was a lie 

Fear is my tragedy

My unwilling downfall

The reason I’m okay with not talking to you 

The reason I’m okay with females wanting to you 

The reason I’m okay with allowing you to hide your feelings 

Fear is the reason you might love me harder than I love you